Kindness and Respect
In my job and my travels, I meet a lot of people. During a recent trip with my sister, I met a unique individual who is employed in the hospitality industry. The way he connected with people was really impressive. Watching how people reacted to him was pretty cool too. Full disclosure, we were at a high-end winery where my brother-in-law has been a club member for a while. He was our sommelier and we felt like we were getting his full attention, he was both engaging and engaged. His greeting made us feel like that was exactly where we belonged, and it shifted us from “just walking in” to genuinely eager to interact more and see what he had planned for us. That first sixty seconds communicated, “You’re not an interruption; you’re the point,” and it set the tone for the entire visit. In a subtle way, he turned a simple tasting into an experience we were now invested in. I attributed the attention to my brother-in-law’s VIP status. But as I started paying attention, he was helping two other groups. He did seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time with us, but at the same time, based on what I saw, no one that he was helping looked like they were not getting the attention they wanted.
We chatted mostly about wine, but we also asked about his backstory. We learned that he started in the hotel world where his first boss gave him advice that has guided his approach to every job since. As we roll into the holiday season I thought is appropriate to repeat that advice here.
It’s a pretty simple idea, but the execution can be difficult. Those few words are these: “Be Kind. Be Respectful. Be Polite. And remember that you are not in a position to judge.” Before you dismiss them, think about them. What is wrong with striving to approach our interactions with those principles in mind? As you ponder this practical advice, remember that we were commanded to “love one-another.” In your practice, that same moment happens every time a patient walks into a clinic, sits in the waiting room, or enters an exam or treatment area. A warm, genuine greeting can create the same sense of belonging and safety that we felt in that winery, even when the environment is busy or stressful. When people feel like they belong in the space, they are more open, more engaged, and more willing to partner in their own care.
So here is my challenge to you: greet your patients warmly and genuinely, as if you are truly glad they are there, even when the schedule is packed and the day is hard. Be intentional about removing physical barriers between staff and patients whenever possible—stepping out from behind the desk, sitting at eye level, or shifting your body language so it says “I’m with you,” not “I’m on the other side of the counter.” Small changes in greeting and posture can significantly improve comfort, trust, and the perception of care quality
This does not mean we can’t be truthful. In fact, omitting truth is the antithesis of this theme, because real respect includes being honest. The skill is delivering truth while still being respectful, kind, and polite. Another phrase you might hear is that to be successful in creating a bond, you need to meet people where they are—and that requires slowing down long enough to understand their perspective before you try to engage. These skills are becoming more and more rare, and in healthcare they are more important than ever. As we prepare for the new year, can you commit to one intentional practice—greeting warmly, listening without judgment, or telling the truth kindly—that will move you closer to living out this advice in every interaction?
